Where do you see yourself in five years?

I used to shudder at the threat of this question. How am I supposed to know where I will be in five years?

As a military spouse five years seems like an eternity. Looking even one year into the future is like staring into an abyss. I have no idea where I will be living or who I will be hanging out with or where my kids will be going to school.

The hesitation to answer this question doesn’t just stem from the unpredictability of my lifestyle, it’s also because of my personality. I love learning new things and every time I try something new I’m opening the door to a new path. Within one five-year stretch I published a book, had a baby, and started grad school. In a different (overlapping) five-year stretch I became a competent speaker, had another baby, and raced in the Sea Otter Classic. If someone had asked me where I saw myself five years prior to each of those events I don’t think I would have mentioned a single one of them.

But now, the dreaded question is easier for me to answer; not just because of Toastmasters, but because I recently learned how to use my values as a compass.

I read about using a value compass in Designing Your Life, and it sounds like a pretty simple idea: use your values as your guide. I thought I had a grasp on this idea before reading about it, but it actually takes some serious reflection. The book prompted me to write a summary of the meaning of life and the meaning of work. It was an eye opening experience, and once I had put those thoughts on paper I was able to develop my true guiding principles.

With value compass in hand it’s much easier to see the long game. Answering the dreaded five-year question becomes less about naming a career industry and rank, and more about cultivating a life that is in alignment with my values.

A recent article in Harvard Business Review outlines some additional advice for answering this question. The authors say to consider preliminary questions like “What problems excite you?” “What strengths can you build on?” “What would you do differently if you quit your career?” and “Let’s gamify this goal. What’s level 1? How about level 2?” (HBR, How to Mentor Someone Who Doesn’t Know What Their Career Goals Should Be, Tania Luna and Jordan Cohen)

By using this approach we are able to focus more on what we enjoy, what gives us energy, and what fits with our skills and our resources. The long game then becomes about melding all of these into something cohesive.

The long game requires thoughtfulness, but the only way to live our dreams is to stop dreaming about them and take concrete steps towards make them a reality.

Designing Your Life provides some great exercises for developing this type of deliberate plan. Another book that helped me implement specific changes was Your Money or Your Life, by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. By walking through the steps of calculating my “real hourly wage” I gained an accurate measure with which to compare my expenditures in terms of my energy. (e.g. a year of Netflix subscription equates to 9 hours of work) With this perspective, I can focus on what is most important to me –literally what is worth my time.

In the end I have to remind myself that the question is “where do you see yourself in five years” and not “where will you definitely be in five years?” We never know what the future will hold: In the next five years I may move to a far off island or discover that I love to weld — both of these are entirely possible. But just because the specific locations and activities are not predictable, doesn’t mean that I can’t answer the question.

My future depends on how I decide to spend my time today.