When I was a kid, hustle was an action word–something people yelled to us when it was time to get to the other end of the basketball court and play defense; now it’s become more of a lifestyle–one that demands we wear ourselves ragged in the name of success. And people everywhere are caught up with this constant need to hustle–to make a name for themselves, to prove to the world that they have what it takes, to achieve greatness even when the odds are stacked against them. (also see #grind, #goaldigger #gogetter, #neversettle, et al).
Working hard to achieve our goals is not a bad thing, but living in a perpetual state of hustle is not sustainable. When I played ball as a kid I hustled until the clock ran out… and then there was a post-game pizza party (even if we lost). The hustling of today is non-stop. If we continue to believe that our worth and our success are dependent upon proving ourselves to other people, then we’ll never be done hustling. There will always be more to prove.
There are a lot of problems with that mindset, but one of the most concerning is that whenever we do things to impress someone or make someone else proud, we lose a little bit of ourselves. Showing up for someone else means that we have to make assumptions about what they want. We adjust our actions to meet others’ expectations and after a while we lose track of what we want out of life.
What if we strive to make ourselves proud?
What if we stopped trying to make accommodations and instead committed to being ourselves and being honest about what we need and want?
I’ve found that when I show up for myself I become stronger, more at peace, and more inspired. Not only does this benefit my well-being, but it makes me more equip to serve others.
Last night one of my Toastmasters friends gave some great advice to a newer member who was struggling with nerves. My friend, who is a very inspiring speaker, said that whenever he delivers a speech he reminds himself that it’s his speech. “You have all of those eyes staring at you and you just don’t know what they’re thinking. I usually tell myself, this is my speech. I am going to give my speech the best I can.”
And that’s really all we can do: our best. And when we do it for ourselves, it shows. People recognize that light that shines from within. It is encouraging and inspiring.
Lately I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s new book, Dare to Lead. In it she suggests that perfectionism is basically the opposite of self-focus. “Perfectionism is not self-improvement…[it’s] about trying to earn approval,” she writes. “Perfectionism is a hustle.” She also identifies it as the #1 hindrance to daring leadership.
In order to be better leaders and make a more profound impact on the world it is up to each of us to believe in our self worth, to honor ourselves, and to be honest about what we’re fighting for. Instead of trying to “make a name for ourselves”, maybe we should be striving to be more of who we already are at heart.
Every once in a while, when I get caught up trying to prove myself or trying to do things I think others want me to do, I stop and listen to that little voice in my head… it says, “F*$% the hustle.”