2019 was off to a rough start at the office. We had some difficult transitions and every day seemed to open with a new emergency. One particularly stressful morning each of my colleagues entered the conference room and promptly burst into laughter. I stared at them completely straight-faced wearing a pair of ridiculous party glasses.
It sounds silly, but silly is exactly what we needed! (I usually prefer to evoke laughter using my superior wit and impeccable timing, but I’m not opposed to doing something silly if that’s what it takes to spread some cheer!)
Why laugh?
That laugh in the conference room didn’t just lighten the mood, but it provided a much needed respite for our brains. According to the HBR article, “Leading with Humor“, laughter “relieves stress and boredom, boosts engagement and well-being, and spurs not only creativity and collaboration but also analytic precision and productivity.” The simple act of laughing can re-energize your mind!
Finding something to laugh about is also a great way to make connections with people. It comes down to trust. When people share a sense of humor they begin to assume that they share other values, too. One study even found that [spouses] associate wit with “other perceived favorable traits, such as kindness and dependability.”
If you’re now eager to start laughing, read on… (or watch poor Waffles the cat try to make a harrowing leap).
How do I make someone laugh?
It’s not always easy, but I’m confident that I can make almost anyone laugh. For me, it’s all about the details. I do a quick assessment: noticing what the person may be complaining about, or what interactions elicit a micro-smile, or any other clues about what gets them excited. Then I test the waters to see what they respond to. If I pick up that they like a certain show I quote a funny line from that show (fortunately I have watched all the funny shows and memorized all the lines). If they complain about some process that’s not working I make a joke about the reason behind the failure.
If all else fails I don ridiculous party glasses, at a time when they least expect it.
When facing a room full of people, there are a few tricks I’ve learned that can spark laughter as well. My skills were put to the test recently when a colleague asked for some advice in planning a humorous talk…about death and regret. It was a tall order, but I offered two suggestions: (1) call out what people are thinking in a blatant (but playful) way, and (2) focus on a really specific details. For instance, when the speaker mentioned not wanting to stay a few extra hours to have cake with his father (who he ends up never seeing again), I suggested that he mentions the details about what kind of cake it is, and then make a joke like “why would I stay late to drive home in the dark for carrot cake?!” Lots of people will be able to relate to having the wrong priorities, but also to hating carrot cake. Later in the speech he can revisit the detail in the form of a lesson: “always stay for dessert, even if it’s carrot cake.”
Having a specific detail to refer back to is essentially creating an inside joke. This is a very effective tool for stand-up comics. Coming back to a phrase that was used earlier on makes people feel included — a fundamental human need, according to Maslow.
Using laughter as a means to connect is even more common in children. It’s been said that kids laugh anywhere from ten to twenty times more often than adults. In watching my own kids I’ve noticed that they laugh not just when something is funny, but when something is amazing, or fun, or sometimes they laugh simply to inspire laughter in someone else. No matter the reason, laughter is contagious, and it has the power to turn anyone’s day around.
Next time you find that the people around you are stressed, or uninspired, or grouchy, try getting them to laugh. If you don’t trust your comedic instincts, just show a few cat videos, or wear some silly glasses. I know most people tend to try to avoid getting laughed at, but if you’re laughing too then others are laughing with you, and there’s nothing better than having a good laugh together.
“Don’t trust people who don’t laugh.” – Maya Angelou